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As a mom, it is extremely hard to be selfish. It feels almost unnatural to not be there for everything and everyone. You find yourself double-booking, back to back activities and just exhausting every bit of your being.
Not to get all suburban mom on you or anything, but seriously, I am always on the go. I work full time, Monday through Friday from 8:30-4:30 with no designated "lunch break" (they let me go grab a dollar menu lunch, but it's not like an hour to sit and relax or anything) and a half hour commute each way.
I also have three kids. This means three other people to take care of by way of cooking, cleaning, homework, tutoring, sport practices and games, transportation and alllllllll of that.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to sit and complain. I do have a point, I promise. I love my life and I love my kids and I love my job. But sometimes, mama needs a break!
As you might remember, I went to Pat's race last weekend. He races every Saturday night during the season. I have been very good (I feel) about going to these races to support him provided that I don't have a budget/scheduling/kid activity conflict. Today, though, I have no "excuse". Yes, money is tight and yes, Kaden had a football game from ten this morning until about two this afternoon. I probably could have gone, but I opted not to.
The truth is, I love Patrick and I am glad that he has hobbies and interests, even if I don't share those hobbies and interests with him. Going to the races is PURELY to support him. They offer me no other enjoyment whatsoever. So, today I told him that I was not going to go. I know he is disappointed, but I just need to take some me time.
So here I sit on a Saturday afternoon, with no excuses as to why I can't be at the race. I have no obligations, I have only Kaden here (who at ten years old is not much "work"), I have no where to be and nothing that immediately needs done. I have no friends to see, no commitments to uphold, no projects to work on. I may just end up sitting on my ass for the entirety of the day. And I feel horrible about it. Why do I feel so badly taking time for myself? Why do I feel so selfish and unsupportive? I don't know. Probably because as a mom (and for most of my years, a single mom), I am so used to putting everyone else first and having a full agenda all the time that this just feels . . . strange. It is uncharted territory to be able to think that I could take a bath or flip through an ENTIRE magazine or take a nap. I feel badly for not going to the race. But you know what? I think after a few SATC episodes and a quiet sun-soaked magazine indulgence on the patio, I'll be over it. ;-)
Crocheted Poncho-thrifted; Blue Polka Dot Tank-Jockey, gifted; Distressed Jeans-Mudd; Flats-Macy's; Butterfly Bracelet-Four Corners; Earrings-gifted and DIY; Necklace-gifted
You shouldn't feel bad for taking a little time for yourself (especially with a schedule like yours). Sometimes a girl just needs to unwind! I'm sure Patrick understands.
ReplyDeleteAnd very cute, casual outfit. Love the poncho!
Cute poncho!
ReplyDeleteGTBB,
http://badjoan.blogspot.com
http://cookingjoan.blogspot.com
Sweet honey, you have to take time for yourself and don't feel bad for this! I am pretty sure he undesrtands!!!
ReplyDeleteLove your crochet poncho!
You gotta take care of yourself to take care of others. You gotta be right with yourself or you can't with the world. You're a mom, a friend, a significant other, but you're also a person. A person who deserves some time to just sit and let be.
ReplyDeletePart of my wellness class is to pick a wellness goal for the semester and keep a log of it. Many people are doing weightloss, but I decided to go with meditation. Maybe you could try? I haven't started yet, but taking 15 minutes everyday (less if that's what you got) to just sit and breathe. I know it may not work for everyone, but maybe take those minutes before bed, in the car, or whereever you can take a few moments to be you and focus on letting your thoughts mellow.
I think I'm inherently selfish as a person, which is why at this age, I question my suitability to motherhood. But at the same time, I see my sister and how busy and stressed she is all the time with her two kids, never really living for herself but being so happy with them in their lives that I know that she, like you, is doing an amazing job.
ReplyDeleteI think sometimes all we need is some time out so that you can refresh and be the best person you can be for the people around you. At the end of the day, they will benefit from it.
Lots of love from Sydney,
x Kel
melbourne: bows and zara
Totally! He did/does. Thanks so much Mel!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
ReplyDeleteHe does! Thank you Federica!
ReplyDeleteThat is very good advice. Thank you Megan. I am really bad about making time for myself. I just have to remember the saying that my therapist always tells me "if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". Thanks! ;-)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your kind words. I totally agree with you and I am sure you will be an excellent mother. I really appreciate your comment as always. Thanks Kel!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a Mom (yet) but I think in some ways I can relate by putting myself in your place. I think Moms are just so amazing, they always put everyone before them because it's in their nature to be giving and take care of others. Still, we all need to recharge our batteries at some point! You DESERVE to have some ME time, even if you just sit there and do nothing all day. That time to yourself will leave you refreshed and happy and ready to keep going. Your kids will see how happy you are and will learn from you! Don't forget that you need to be taken care of too, you deserve it!! So put the worries aside and make sure at LEAST once a month you give yourself a "me" day!
ReplyDeleteLidi @ Eclectic Flair
Thank you so much Lidi for your very kind and sincere words. You are so right and I so much appreciate it. Take care!
ReplyDelete