April 26, 2012

Cake Walk


Every day that I am at work, even if I am having the worst day on the planet, I am grateful for my job and the people that I work for.  Why?  Because I have seen the dark side. 

My first paralegal position was in south Denver.  Traffic was a nightmare that there was no escape from.  My kids were stuck in day care for something ridiculous like ten hours.  The pay wasn't great and there were no benefits whatsoever. 

But that's not the worst part.  The worst part was one of my bosses.  Everyday that I was there, I felt like the biggest failure on the planet.  

Literally, this person made me cry daily.  They would belittle me and make me feel like they could not even believe that I ever graduated high school, let alone college. 

Bright side, though?  I was only there for five months.  And from that five months I got some great paralegal experience.  Not to mention, a couple of entertaining stories.  

So at the place I used to work for, I actually worked for two attorneys and a C.P.A.  Obviously, during tax season, shit got crazy son!  I decided to suck up celebrate by bringing in a chocolate cake.  Well, the tax season ended at the same time that Passover was going on.  I'm not Jewish, but two of the attorneys that I worked for were.  The one that made me cry was sooooooo offended by my cake gesture.  "Who the &*%$ brought in a &*$#ing chocolate cake during Passover?!?!?!"  Unbeknownst to me, you are not supposed to have anything with flour in it during Passover.  Oh for shame!  Needless to say, the cake did not help me get ahead. 

During my time at this firm, Colorado endured not one, but two major blizzards.  It was insane.  Literally feet of snow.  I lived an hour away.  The entire state had shut down.  But, I was threatened with my job that if I did not get down there NOW I was not serious about my job.  I drove for over three hours to get to work.  That person did not show up.  This happened with both blizzards.  

We used to keep a bowl of candies at the receptionist's desk.  We did not have a receptionist (well, we kind of did--me, in addition to being a paralegal).  The candy bowl ran dry for a few days.  Again, I tried to suck up help out, so I brought in the good stuff-some Kit Kats, some Snickers, some 3 Musketeers.  I thought I was golden.  I was so wrong.

A few days passed by and my candy went uneaten by anyone.  I was perplexed.  Until the one nice attorney walked into my office to ask me in a very serious manner to not put anymore candy in the bowl anymore.  "We only have it there to appease so and so attorney and so and so attorney only likes daaaaaark chocolate," he explained.  

About an hour later, so and so came in all right, stomped over to the candy bowl, dumped out my candy and started filling it with nasty dark chocolate bars.  They took a piece out, took a bite in front of my office.  "Mmmmmmm!  REAL chocolate!" they declare.  STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP.

 This is not how all attorneys act.  In fact, I have yet to meet another one like this person.  In the end, I almost quit being a paralegal all together. I was told by this person that "women in this field need to have balls" and I just didn't have the stuff.  But, the other attorney reassured me and I got the job I've been at for going on three years now with some awesome people. 

These people make me laugh, they genuinely care, they let me take lunch breaks, they understand if my kids are sick or if I need to leave for a conference with a teacher.  I am truly blessed.

What about you?  Do you have any workplace horror stories you'd like to share?

  Pink Twirly Skirt-Express, thrifted; Green Patterned Knotted Blouse-Ann Taylor, thrifted; Studded Wedges-Mudd; Bracelets-vintage and DIY, gifted; Earrings-vintage from Grandma

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