October 14, 2016

Dear Frannie Friday--Fitness and Whole 30 Update

So I am as of tomorrow I am halfway through my third round of the Whole 30.  I gotta say--I feel good!  It is much, much easier each time you do the Whole 30.  First, you have the routine down.  You know what you can and can't eat, you've got some knowledge and recipes under your belt and you have some of the weird ass ingredients that you normally don't before doing a Whole 30.  I honestly don't really have any cravings, haven't had any real issues with headaches or fatigue.  It's been great!  I will admit, though, that I can't wait to scarf down a donut, but that's because I am a real sucker for sweets.

I am also 14 days into the 60 day Insanity program.  This . . . is much harder for me.  I literally hate working out.  HATE.  I don't get how people enjoy it.  I don't like getting up early.  I don't like being sore and I feel like all the times I have put into working out have been for naught because I never see any real results.  

I've had body issues for as long as I can remember.  Literally.  My sister was always rail thin and I always felt like "the fat sister" (this was never a label given to me by anyone by the way . . . just my own neurosis).  Of course, this perpetuated through puberty and my lack of . . . development . . . and all of the other affirmations by the media, popular girls at school, magazines, etc.  So after having my fourth kid two and a half years ago and still not being able to fit into some of my prepregnancy clothes (I cannot tell you the disdain (read: jealousy) I have for posts of girls who have a baby and wear their skinny jeans home from the hospital), it makes it harder to shake.

I truly truly loved running while I was into it.  I did it every morning for a solid four or five months.  But that fizzled when my Grampa died simply due to depression, needing sleep and a lack of motivation.  And then it kind of went away.  And every time I've done the Whole 30, I haven't simultaneously been working out.  And when I've been working out, I haven't been on a strict diet.  So I figured I'd give this a go.   

It's been a slow go.  My first week, I did only five of the six workouts.  In my defense, I honestly was having technical difficulties on the sixth day.  However . . . I totally didn't make it up.  Also, while I don't mind so much getting up early (that means 4:15 or 4:30 when I have to work) . . . I also don't get to go to bed until 10 at the earliest most nights.  By the time I get home, cook dinner, bath kids, make sure homework is done, clean up from dinner, read Reilly his bedtime story and get the kids to bed . . . I'm lucky if I have a moment to just sit down before I have to put myself to bed.  So I usually don't actually make it to bed until closer to 11.  And that makes it really hard to wake up in the morning. 

Something always seems to stand in my way of working out and I realize that is because I haven't made it a priority because I literally just hate it.  Every time I'm working out I am just thinking the whole time "is this really worth it?  I think I'd rather just take my chances with how I look . . ."

Hopefully actually finishing this program will change that.  I doubt it, but I will try to keep chugging.  Pray for me.


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